


Hellacon 2014

by buttmaster



Category: Homestuck, Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2282280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bonus Round 4 fill for the HSWC. </p><p>"Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff</p><p>Real World Episode: Kinda self-explanatory; Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff meet their RL fans."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hellacon 2014

"Alright, everybody, have a seat. Welcome to Hellacon 2014's Meet the Stars Panel. This is just a Q&A, so, I hope you all came prepared. I'd like to introduce... Sweet Bro, Hella Jeff, Geromy, and The Big Man himself, Hass T. Rock."

The crowd goes wild as the four men walk out, taking a seat at the long table and doing a brief microphone check of hellos.

"So," the moderator gave a small shrug. "Let's get to questions. Umm... you there, in the squirrel shirt." An assistant headed over with a microphone.

"I told you about stairs, bro! I warned you, dog!" He turned to the friend next to him, who was cosplaying as pixelated Tony Hawk, and gave him a sideways high-five.

Sweet Bro rolled his eyes. "Okay, good, glad we're getting that out of the way. I mean, guys... a lot of work goes into Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, and we really would love to answer some actual questions on the process, you know."

Hella Jeff pointed into the crowd. "I think the teenager in sunglasses has a question. No, no. Marty. Not that one. No. Uh. Okay, so... three sunglass teens back... and then two to your left. The one with the sword. No, the red sword."

"Hey! In episode two, was that really your mom and were you two actua--"

"Ugh, no! What the hell kind of question is that and why do you people keep asking it? What the fuck is wrong with--"

Geromy leaned over, whispering something to Jeff.

"Okay, sorry, sorry. No. No, that was not Sweet Bro's actual mom, and no one actually got... banged. It's called acting. You realize that in most TV shows and movies, sex scenes don't acually have sex, right? It's fake. It's acted."

A murmur broke out across the audience, and a guy carrying what looked to be a My Little Pony plush with Hella Jeff's mouth and haircut stood up. "I have one for the Big Man." Marty headed over with the microphone. "Can you say the star thing?"

Hass T. Rock sighed, leaning down toward his microphone. "Really? I'm a championship basketball player who switched to acting and you just want... okay... 'In your dream, you are the star. It's you.'"

The crowd exploded into applause. Sweet Bro put his head in his hands and sighed. They hated con season. They hated con season so much.

The assistant was on his way over to a girl on an aisle seat, wearing a Geromy shirt. "Hi, can I get your response on accusations that Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff is bad at diversity? Your one female character is, well, pretty sexualized and makes one... pretty gross appearance. And your two non-white characters are either a cameo role or, well, Geromy hasn't even had a line yet. Like, what is the creative process here and do you guys agree with it. I would love to hear from all of you?"

Geromy leaned forward. "I would love to go first, if you guys don't mind. I mean, yes, it's pretty awkward, having a walk-on role without dialogue. But, season two, we plan on doing some things differently. Dave Strider did a lot of things right with Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, but he did a lot of things wrong as well, and we'd really like to stray a bit from the source material. Expect some Geromy-centric plot lines soon, and, Hass, you have something going on, right?"

"Yes, actually. We're doing a series of webisodes before season two surrounding the Big Man, and--"

"You got to flip it. Turn-ways!" The crowd shouted in unison.

Sweet Bro waved down an assistant, covering his microphone and whispering something to him.

This assistant, who was not Marty, turned around. "Okay, we're doing one more question. Umm, hmm. Okay. How about... you?" He approached a guy in the front row in a purple shirt that just said PUPES in big yellow letters.

"Okay, this is for Sweet Bro, I guess. What is the best kind of jelly to put on a hot god?"

Sweet Bro sighed. "Grape."

"How high do you even have to be just t--"

The microphones in the crowd shut off and Hella Jeff leaned forward. "We're done here. Goodbye, assholes."


End file.
